There is something about the term enforced intimacy that makes me laugh. The suggestion is that I am coercing my guest into holding my hand somehow can’t help but make me smile a little. For me it suggests that I am enforcing intimacy upon myself pushing myself to have a 30 minute moment with someone everyday. It perhaps suggests a heavy weighty feeling with the action. The reality in many cases is that the action simply cannot help but offer intimacy though often with great subtlety.
This term led me on to think about the other subtle transformations that might have taken place in me through practicing this ritual everyday. It has offered space for immediate and prolonged reflection from the start of the year. I have noticed differences in the accessing of emotions. A challenge to understand the art of listening. New questions everyday and making myself aware of these. A space to validate what this is, why I might choose to do it and to not be afraid to be amused by it. Time to notice the questions of others. To watch it used by others, asked for and modified by them. To take it for granted and still wake up thinking about it.
I have passed my half way point whilst neglecting my blog but lately I have been reflecting on Stamina. What makes you go the distance? Palm to Palm has grown into a performance which has grown into a talk and is now at times the way people introduce me to others – “This is my friend Lou, she’s spending the year holding people’s hand for 30 minutes”. So this means that pride is an element that keeps me going and within that there is ego. I like that people keep asking about it even when I struggle to talk about it. Fun – that it is fun (most of the time) keeps me going and the small amount of fear in not finding someone, in being rejected, in being tempted to not try a bit harder, in indulging in just staying in also somehow helps to feed the stamina.
Here comes the photos, it’s been a while so there’s a few!
An amazing wise and generous woman offers me her afternoon in a beautiful garden in Stirling.
- Day 198
- Day 197
A stranger offers an hour after work.
A birthday hand hold for a dear friend.
Day 186 is 30 minutes filled with laughter and spilling water all over a table all provided by a magical lass from the kingdom!
The full moon comes again.
Day 183 – HALFWAY
Halfway quietly celebrated with an awesome friend.